Orlando, Fla. (Ivanhoe Newswire) — In a recent survey, people with young kids said they feel like “bad” parents around three times a week, which totals 156 times a year! the pressure to be a good parent is real. but experts say your child’s behavior might not always be the best measure of how well you’re doing. Parenting
All kids do bad things, so if your child has ever thrown themselves on the floor or yelled, those moments can feel like failure. But psychologists say they often mean something else.
“They’re dysregulated, so showing their emotions to parents says, I’m safe. My emotions will be accepted,” said Cari Alvarez, Child Psychologist.
Tantrums can be a healthy way for kids to let it all out, as long as they don’t last a long time, involve aggression, or happen all the time. Another common behavior that gets a bad rap? talking back.
“The child is learning about autonomy, finding their voice, learning what can I say how well can I negotiate here?” explained Alvarez.
Arguing or negotiating can actually be a sign that your child is testing boundaries and feels safe with you. and then there’s the three words that can break a parent’s heart …
“They don’t really know what that means,” said Alvarez.
Though they are normal behaviors, it’s a good idea to address these reactions
Validate your child’s feelings and refrain from shaming them but let them know exactly what behaviors aren’t acceptable. Another idea is to hold a family meeting where everyone can express their emotions in a safe environment. Also, model healthy responses yourself and point out when you make a mistake. and remember, the goal isn’t to raise a perfect child. It’s to teach them how to handle imperfect moments.
And when things do get heated psychologists say there are certain phrases you should never say to your children, including, you’re in trouble, you know better, because I said so, stop crying it’s a not big deal, and last but not least, why can’t you be more like your sibling.
Contributors to this news report include: Julie Marks, Producer; Bob Walko, Editor.
Sources:
https://studyfinds.com/average-parent-feels-like-failure-156-times-year/
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/a70984904/bad-kid-behavior-good-parenting-signs
https://momonpurpose.com/10-phrases-not-to-say-to-your-kids-and-what-to-say-instead/
