Orlando, Fla. (Ivanhoe Newswire) — Many Americans find themselves financially supporting their grown kids long after high school or college. A new survey shows 63 percent of parents say they pay living expenses, phone bills, or debt for their adult kids. And while most do it out of love — experts warn it may not be the best decision for you or your child.
Education, cars, bills, careers, parents want the best for their kids. For many families, helping has become the new normal.
Data shows parents now spend an average of almost 15 hundred dollars a month supporting their adult children. And more than one-third worry they’re sacrificing their own retirement to do it. Yet parents keep giving.
“I think parents have to really check themselves too to see if their own needs are being met because it’s not all the kids,” explained Colette Jane Fehr, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor.
Experts say it may be time to pull back if you’re sacrificing your own finances, if your child expects the support, or if they’re capable of managing but avoiding responsibility.
“Let your kids make some mistakes,” said Fehr.
Experts say if you decide to help, set clear expectations for what your child must do to make the arrangement fair, like contributing to rent, paying a household bill such as water or electricity, or covering groceries. Even a small amount builds accountability. Set a timeline with deadlines for when they’ll take over more expenses or be ready to move out. Parents can also require progress: actively looking for work, saving a set amount each month, or taking a budgeting or financial literacy course.
If you do decide to help, know what you can truly afford and don’t dip into retirement or emergency savings. If it’s a loan, put it in writing. A financial advisor can help you map out a plan. And remember — it’s okay to say no.
It’s not just parents helping kids. Ninety-six percent of grandparents say they financially help their grandchildren. Three in 10 grandparents say they prioritize their grandchildren’s needs over their own financial stability.
Contributors to this news report include: Julie Marks, Producer; Bob Walko, Editor.
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Sources:
https://www.cnbc.com/2025/03/25/half-of-parents-financially-support-adult-children-report-finds.html
https://allworthfinancial.com/articles/what-to-do-when-an-adult-child-is-a-financial-mess
