ORLANDO, Fla. (Ivanhoe Newswire) — We make sure our kids have the latest video games, most fashionable clothes, newest smart phone, but the most powerful gift might be something you can’t buy. One of the most powerful gifts you can give is to teach your child how to build resilience. It isn’t about “toughening up” — it’s about helping kids manage big emotions, especially when life gets hard.
Is your child struggling at school, shutting down after a loss, or acting differently after a stressful event?
Kids face challenges every day. Seeing how their parents react to their own challenges helps kids learn how to adapt and recover, building their own resilience muscles and as Orlando Health child psychiatrist Suraj Modi, MD, explains, it’s a skill that can be taught.
“It’s basically that having that ability to cope when negative things happen,” he explained.
Those negative events don’t have to be traumatic to leave a mark.
“Sometimes it can even be exposures or indirect exposures to negative events,” Dr. Modi told Ivanhoe.
The building blocks of resilience start at home with routine, connection, and open conversation.
“I think a good place to start really is remaining connected, so having a sense of structure in the home environment, being attuned to your child, and then basically talking about emotions freely, not tiptoeing around them,” said Dr. Modi.
After something stressful, parents naturally want to fix it. But too much, too soon, may backfire.
“Rather than asking, what are you feeling or how are you feeling, simply observing and saying, ‘You look like you’re carrying something, or you look sad, or you look frustrated, I’m here if you need anything,’ because you’re validating them,” explained Dr. Modi.
The goal is to be a safe, calm presence, not a fixer.
“Your child is going to be a rollercoaster. Make sure you don’t hop on with them,” said Dr. Modi.
And resilience, it’s like a muscle, the more they use it; the stronger it gets.
Resilience starts young, often around age three or four. And even high-functioning kids may be hiding big emotions. Watch for changes in sleep, school, or mood. Even small conversations can assist your child in building their resilience. And remember, the goal isn’t to avoid stress, it’s to teach them how to navigate it.
Contributors to this news report include: Marsha Lewis, Executive Producer; Matt Goldschmidt, Videographer; and Bob Walko, Editor.
Produced by Child Trends News Service in partnership with Ivanhoe Broadcast News and funded by a grant from the National Science Foundation (NSF).
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If this story or any other Ivanhoe story has impacted your life or prompted you or someone you know to seek or change treatments, please let us know by contacting Marjorie Bekaert Thomas at mthomas@ivanhoe.com
