Love Online: Protect Yourself -- Safety Tips

Online Interaction:

• Use the "seductive nature" of e-mail to ask a lot of probing and personal questions online that you may not be able to ask on
• the phone or even in person.
• Ask a lot of questions. Ask them more than once but ask them similar questions another time in a different way so you can see
• whether there's consistency or inconsistency.
• Use a dating site where there's some fee involved. By putting some money down, it implies that you're serious and committed
• to online dating. A free site can attract all sorts of folks, many of whom are inappropriate for what you might be looking
• for. Somebody who's married is less likely to go onto a site where they have to pay because they don't want the paper trail.
• You have the power to maintain your anonymity for as long as your choose. At no point does someone need to know your full
• name or address. Be careful about sharing too much too soon, such as what you do for a living or where you work.

Face-to-Face:

• Provide your own transportation.
• Try to get there a little early so that you can park your car in such a way that your license isn't readily apparent.
• Meet in a public place, like a coffee house or a bookstore.
• Be responsible for your own finances. Bring cash with you and use it instead of a credit card.
• Make sure someone knows where you're going.
• Carry a cell phone.
• Don't leave your drink unattended and don't get drunk.
• Ask a lot of questions and listen to and watch their responses. Listen how stern they are with their delivery. Do they flutter a little bit, run around the questions, and avoid answering directly? Those are things that should give you red flags.
• Ask specific questions, such as where do they live, where are they from, what kind of job have they had, how do they feel about their family, do they have kids, do they want kids, and do they have siblings. Also, ask questions that you wouldn't typically ask, like "are you married?" Ask the question and see what happens. They could shake, they could be like, "Oh my gosh, do you know something I don’t know?" or "yes, how did she know that?"
• Be the last person to leave.

SOURCE: Ivanhoe interviews with online dating experts Eve Hogan, relationship advisor for DreamMates.com, Judy Silverstein, co-author, “Online Dating for Dummies,” and Samantha Bruno, security consultant for Global One Security's Safety Date Program.

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