Love Online: Digital Attraction -- Web Extra 2

Ten Ways to Succeed at Online Dating
From "Online Dating for Dummies"

1. Starting with a Positive Attitude: Although Internet dating may have started with computer nerds in chat rooms way back when Al Gore invented the Internet, those days are long gone. If you're still stuck with perceptions of those bygone days, give yourself a slap (or ask a bystander to do so) and snap out of it. The best way to meeting people is passing you by. Special note to those people who didn't grow up with a computer mouse in one hand and a baby rattle in the other. Be grateful that you're single in a time when Internet dating came of age.
2. Beginning Slow and Gaining Momentum: Face it. You're probably a novice with online dating as you were with every other new experience. Give yourself time to figure it out. Specifically, if you fall in love the first week or the first month of online dating, you are either darn lucky or deluding yourself.
3. Avoiding Discussion of Your Previous Relationship Woes: When you talk about your past troubles, you come across as a negative person. When you have that same conversation on e-mail, rather than in person, you come across even more negative, and you don't have the eye contact to know when you've gone overboard. Save these discussions for a more advanced stage of your relationship.
4. Writing an Essay That Reflects You: Remember that you're trying to attract an appropriate match. If you write something that describes what you want to be rather than who you really are, you're sure to disappoint your prospective match, sooner or later. If you have someone help you write your essays, use them only to critique your work and encourage you. If someone else writes your essay, you may as well send him or her on your dates.
5. Remembering the Number of Psychos on the Internet Reflects Real Life: The Internet is a microcosm of society, not a separate branch. Just as you may meet at a bar, Laundromat, or hardware store, "crazy" people lurk on the Internet, too. But certainly, no more and no less. Most of the horror stories about online dating are media hype looking for something titillating to fill the space between ads. The fact is that the power of anonymity unique to online dating gives you increased security over face-to-face dating, if you take care to guard that special power.
6. Not Taking Each Internet Contact Too Seriously: You're going to get rejected from time to time, but remember what little emotional investment you have while you're still in the e-mail exchange phase. On the other extreme, take care not to become too enamored with a prospect's exchanges. Hold your emotional fire until you have some face time.
7. Resting from Time to Time: Even if you bought a six-month's subscription, don't plan to become a dating demon by being online without a break in the action. Having too many choices or too many unsuccessful contacts can make your brain glaze over, and you may lose your will to date. The reason you bought the six-month subscription is that the lower price allowed you to take several pauses every few weeks.
8. Reconsidering Your Non-Negotiable Criteria: Online dating is unique because it immediately allows you to select made-to-order prospects with the exact height, weight, and eye color you desire. If you're finding that prospects with these perfect match physical standards are less than perfect personality matches, reconsider your must-have criteria.
9. Posting a Photo Immediately: Your profile is just a bunch of words without a photo, and most people only respond or search for those profiles with photos. So in the end, if you're serious about online dating, post a photo. Don't let opportunities (great prospects) pass you by. Post your photo as soon as you sign up to a dating service.
10. Knowing When to Hold ‘Em and When to Fold ‘Em: In the e-mail exchange part of online dating, you may find yourself having superb banter, when suddenly you come across a roadblock, such as a discovery about your prospect that makes him/her an inappropriate match (like allergies to pets or small children). Trust your instincts; stop wasting time.

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