Love Online: Protect Yourself

ORLANDO, Fla. (Ivanhoe Broadcast News) -- Nearly 30 million Americans use the Internet to find love. The book “Online Dating for Dummies” reminds Internet daters that the number of psychos on the Internet reflects real life. So how do you go about choosing Mr. Right from Mr. Already-married-with-three-kids-and-a-criminal-past? These smart women who will teach you to distinguish the losers from the keepers.

We’ve seen the headlines and heard the warnings from our friends. Former online dater Jennifer Clough says, “There are so many crazy people out there in the world today that they’re using the Internet as another way and means of getting to get into people’s lives.”

Really -- how safe is online dating?

Judy Silverstein, co-author of “Online Dating for Dummies,” says, “My impression is it’s actually a lot safer than other modalities of dating, such as meeting people in a bar or in a book store or a set-up date.”

Nearly all online dating services prohibit using your personal information in profiles -- like your full name, address or personal email address -- so you can maintain your anonymity for as long as you like. When you do meet face-to-face, experts suggest using the same common sense you’d use for any first meeting with a stranger: Meet in a public place, provide your own transportation, carry cash, and ask a lot of questions.

Samantha Bruno, a security consultant with Safety Date, says, “I would ask questions like, 'Have you ever been married', jokingly, 'Are you married?' You can tell a lot by people’s emotions by the way they respond, and that’s when you can tell if someone’s lying.” She says the answer is no laughing matter. She conducts background checks for people through Safety Date.

What’s the most common thing she uncovers? “That a person’s married. That is the number one,” Bruno says.

She also tracks financial histories, like bankruptcies and liens, criminal backgrounds, and if they already have somebody living at their residence. She says a $75 basic background check will give you peace of mind, but “typically your guts and your intuition is your red flag, and I think you should always follow that and follow your heart,” she says.

Clough saw the red flags in her new online suitor. “We met and we hit if off at first,” she says. “But after awhile, he was like being, a little bit reserved and holding back a lot of his past.” She didn’t trust her guts enough to end it at first, but after she paid for a background check, she learned the truth. “He said he wasn’t married and he was and he had children. And he did have a small record, but they really couldn’t tell me what it was through that. But he did some crime.”

She says the money she spent on the background check was worth it because as a single mother raising two sons, she can’t -- and won’t -- take any chances.

Bruno says if you can provide your date’s name, approximate age and zip code, she can tell you about their criminal history. Another company, LookBetterOnline.com will certify that you are who you say you are. For $20, they’ll certify your age, height and weight are the same as what’s posted on your profile. For $50, they’ll certify that you have no criminal record, have not declared bankruptcy and that you are not currently married.

This article was reported by Ivanhoe.com, who offers Medical Alerts by e-mail every day of the week. To subscribe, go to: http://www.ivanhoe.com/newsalert/.

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