USE COMMON SENSE: There used to be a perception that the Internet was teeming with schemers, perverts and scammers. But with nearly 30 million Americans regularly using online dating, more and more people are using it for more legitimate reasons to find love. As with any first meeting with a stranger, there are some rules you should keep in mind and follow. Judy Silverstein, author of “Online Dating for Dummies”, Eve Hogan, relationship advisor for DreamMates.com, and Samantha Bruno, a security consultant who conducts background checks through a program called Safety Date, offer tips for when you decide to take your online romance off line.
Safety Tips
- Provide your own transportation and arrive early
- Meet in a public place
- Carry cash and use it instead of a credit card
- Let someone know where you’re going, how long you expect to be gone, and with whom you are meeting
- Do not leave your drink unattended
- Do not get drunk
Ask a lot of questions and pay attention to their answers and the way they respond. Are they fluttering? Do they avoid direct answers about their past, their family and where they’re from? Ask specific questions, such as, “Are you married?” If they stutter or act stunned, that might be a red flag.
Fee Sites: Silverstein and Hogan both recommend that women use online dating sites where some sort of membership fee is involved. They say it can help weed out the folks that either aren’t serious about starting a relationship or who might be a threat to you. Silverstein thinks online dating is actually a lot safer than other forms of dating, such as meeting people in a bar or a bookstore or being set up. She says, “It’s safer because you have the power to maintain your anonymity for as long as you choose.”
Safety Date: If you still feel uneasy about your new online suitor, you can run a background check for $75. Samantha Bruno is a security consultant for Safety Date, a program run by GlobalOne Security. She says with your date’s name, approximate age and ZIP code, she can tell you about his criminal past, whether or not he’s married and about his financial history. She says the number one thing she uncovers is that someone is already married.
This article was reported by Ivanhoe.com, who offers Medical Alerts by e-mail every day of the week. To subscribe, go to: http://www.ivanhoe.com/newsalert/.
If you would like more information, please contact:
Judy Silverstein and Michael Lasky, co-authors
Online Dating for Dummies
mailmotel@yahoo.com
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